Christmas is pretty bleak. My husband passed away last December from Non-Hogdkins Lymphoma, and I've been struggling ever since to take care of my two granddaughters. I work and it seems after bills and food there is nothing left over. I can't afford to buy them a Christmas presents. I haven't even bought myself shoes or clothing in over a year, any extra money which is very little goes for extra things they may need. My heart is already broken because I lost the love of my life. Not knowing what to do at christmas is another heartache I have to endure. One granddaughter is 18 and in high school, the other one is 12 and in junior high school.
I found a wonderful site that has chat rooms for people who are grieving a loss of a loved one. I had been going to this site for about a month now but never got up enough guts to chat. But Yesterday was the 3 month anniversary of my husbands death. Between that and Thanksgiving I could not stop sobbing. I was at the end of my rope and feeling totally overwhelmed so I mustered up my strength and chatted. At first I couldn't see the computer screen through my tears but within 15 minutes I felt so much better and not so all alone. This site is called GROWW and the url is www.groww.org they have different rooms that focus on different types of loss such as loss of children, recently widowed, loss to suicide, etc. It really does help to be with others who really know what you are going through. I regret waiting so long to chat but am so grateful that people are willing to share.
in response to Windy104...To anyone who are Dependents of a Veteran, get in touch with me, have helped and assist a ,lot of dependents from WW l, WWll, Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan and Iraq.
TO THE WORLD YOU ARE ONE PERSON, TO ONE PERSON YOU ARE THE WORLD.
marinedavet
in response to Relieved Widow...Hi Renny, If your husband has served at any time in the Military and is a Veteran, I can help. I have helped Dependents from Veterans every day. marinedavet.
in response to Rennie Joy...Hi Rennie. I haven't posted on here in a while but just got back on today. I Know about those survivor benefits. My daughters father died when they were 15 and 17. I couldn't draw because i worked and "Made too much money". I don't understand. He paid that in. My first daughter only drew a check for a few months, till she turned 18 and the other the same. They are now 19 and 22. I never did get any Widow benefits but had I not worked all my life i would have qualified for a lot more. Just wanted to say I agree.
in response to Hoppi...Thank you! I haven't been on this space for some time due to time issues and whatnot. I am also a vet and do go to VA hospital but am not eligible for certain benefits as I was not during "wartime". I am checking into this more, but just wanted to say thanks for replying.
You are not alone, my Mother needs help as well and dont know where to turn except strangers as well. She is in the same situation and does not want to lose her home.
I love my husband.If he were still alive no
way things would have gotten this
bad....ugh....i should have educated myself
while he was alive,prepared myself just in
case....I coudnt make myself believe he was
really dying...and then he did.. ugh²..
Now CPS has my kids because Im
poor.....my fault...i kinda fell apart when he
died and by the time i snapped out of it,our
financial situation had snowballed.
Disability is pending,and i cant work...my
hands are messed up pretty bad.
I have no electric or water and my
children,who are as necessary to me as
oxygen to live,cant come home til i have
utilities.
Im not sure what kind of help I need,but if
nothing else a bunch of helpful people
praying for us cant hurt.
If you are in a position to help with utilities
until we start receiving our benefits,please
help us.
Im at the end of my rope and my children
ate miserable and Im helpless to save
them.Its a really bad and shameful feeling
that tries like hell to take you down.
On top of mourning my husband,Im beat.
I love my husband.If he were still alive no
way things would have gotten this
bad....ugh....i should have educated myself
while he was alive,prepared myself just in
case....I coudnt make myself believe he was
really dying...and then he did.. ugh²..
Now CPS has my kids because Im
poor.....my fault...i kinda fell apart when he
died and by the time i snapped out of it,our
financial situation had snowballed.
Disability is pending,and i cant work...my
hands are messed up pretty bad.
I have no electric or water and my
children,who are as necessary to me as
oxygen to live,cant come home til i have
utilities.
Im not sure what kind of help I need,but if
nothing else a bunch of helpful people
praying for us cant hurt.
If you are in a position to help with utilities
until we start receiving our benefits,please
help us.
Im at the end of my rope and my children
ate miserable and Im helpless to save
them.Its a really bad and shameful feeling
that tries like hell to take you down.
On top of mourning my husband,Im beat.
in response to Windy104...Windy - I sincerely feel bad for you regarding the loss of your husband. However, I can't understand why you, and so many other Americans, have children they can't afford? You have four children, WHY? Can you afford four kids? As Dr. Phil says, "what were you thinking?" Children are expensive and require RESPONSIBLE adults, not just someone who can get pregnant. Prior to becoming pregnant the first time did you and your husband make responsible decisions?; i.e., did you consider funding sources, healthcare coverage (not from the government), life insurance, etc?
I live in Alabama and am a widow/single mom and also am struggling.I have four children and can't even get help with childcare to go back to work.It's ridiculous that other single moms that aren't widowed and make way more money than my little survivor benefits gets free childcare,free housing, and foodstamps while all I can get help with 400 a month in foodstamps..I haven't been able to afford insurance, doctor bills, surgeries,or credit card payments in yrs and so now am in debt,just because Im a widow...??
I am in a similar situation, my best friend and I recently moved into an apartment together, this was 12 days ago, and yesterday, he lost his job. So now I have to work very hard, and really scrap whatever I can to hopefully make it. I'm so blessed to work at Chipotle, because I am fed for the most part, and I've been living below my means for a while, so I need all the help I can get as well, I too have a paypal, if there are generous souls out there that happen to read this:
I'm sorry to hear about your current situation.
I have some resources on my homepage that may assist you with you billing issue. I will also pray for you that God will meet your needs according to glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)
God is, and has been faithful in my life to help us in our time of need. Jesus loves you, and so do I. God will help you. Keep God first in your life to live for HIM, and He will bless you. Focus on God. Take heed to his voice of his word, and when he speaks. Blessing's will chase you down the street, and over take you friend. = )
Blessing's, and shalom to you.
Mike
I need a nice caring person to pay my next Electric bill, I will give you my Name and Address and the name of my Electric Co and thier Phone number and you can call them to pay my bill by credit card, you do not have to send me any money. We have had over 60 days over 90 degrees and 30 days now of 100+ degree weather here, like today it will be 109 degrees, im a 51 year old working widow woman who only makes minum wage of $7.25 an hour and i live in a moblie home, i have 2 window ac units i have to run to keep me an my dog cool, with this heat i have to run them 24 hours a day and im on a extreamly tight budget, normaly we dont get this heat till august-sept and i can pay over on my june july bills to help pay on my august - sept bills but sinec the heat came several months earlier to our area i wasnt able to add credit to my account. My elderly parents are on SS and cant help, I wont be able to pay you back for the money, i just dont have it, so it really needs to be a donation from a giving heart. Thank you, Rebecca an Mightydog my german shepard
EXACTLY! Isn't it interesting that some of us don't qualify for assistance, yet struggle to make ends meet. Then there are those that know how to play the system and take less paying jobs to qualify for assistance and at the end of the month...they make more money than those of us struggling! Frustrating!!!! It doesn't always seem its better to do the right thing...
Ya, me too. Lost my job a year an a half ago. Ive worked since I was 8 years old. Have a mortgage I cannot pay. Never thought this would ever happen to me because I have always worked an was always willing to do so. I am 2 years now behind on my mortgage an hired a lawyer to stop forclosure. Instead of paying for my house I have to pay the lawyer. I am an american, yet its so hard to get real help. All these other countries benifit from my tax dollors but no one wants to help our struggling people. Even movie stars give to other countries. Its so sad. Charity starts at home.
in response to Relieved Widow...Thanks for your message. I know my husband did not have any insurance. He was active member of
The American Legion, but since he was in he Army and it WAS NOT wartime, he did not qualify for many benefits. He was receiving 10% service connect benefits because he hurt his ankle in a parachute jump, but I am not entitled to that. He was on Social Security Disability for PTSD and his ankle but they could not PROVE he became ill when he was in the Army. So, I get a check for 14.00 a month on his behalf as his widow from Social Security. I still owe 7880.00 for his funeral as I am disabled and on Social Security myself and do not have extra money to pay the funeral home. Lost my home to forclosure and just lots of hard times. But I am trying. Thanks again hun. xx
I have posted first as RIP Randy and Relieved Widow. I was also widowed with two young daughters at the time. please read my last post as Relieved Widow. I know what you are talking about. I lost hope for a while but as I said before, there may be things you have overlooked. Go back and check everything since your husband died. I even found a life insurance policy he had but never mentioned. When he got sick I suppose he forgot to keep up payments. I am now checking into this. God bless you.
in response to ekikaseven...Thank you so much. This bill has haunted me for 5 years but my perserverance paid off. I just wanted to let someone out there know there may be a way out. Keep ALL your receipts and reread fine print.
in response to ekikaseven...I have not looked at this site a lot since first posting. I am happy to say I found a clause in my original loan that I had forgotten. I wasn't exactly looking at fine print when i signed it. Turns out I had disability insurance the bank failed to mention and when I brought it to their attention they wouldn't take it on a technicality. The funeral director brought it to my attention. I am happy to say that altough it has taken some time and effort, not to mention numerious calls and paperwork, my husbands bill has been paid. The funeral director brought it to my attention. Thanks to anyone who responded. Relieved Widow.
My mothers husband passed away in December of 09 and they were together 18 years and married for the last 3 of those years. He was a Marine his whole life, he was one of the Chosin Few. They did not have children together, and when they married she signed a prenup, which was done on the day of their marriage and has been proven to be invalid. He had children from a previous marriage and they are all money hungry and malicious. They never liked my mother, even though she spent the last 2 years taking care of him as his health got really bad. They have thrown away my moms belongs that she had from before they met and are selling off items from their home even though there is a court order not too. Is there any organization out there that my mother can talk to that knows what she is going through and can help her work through all of this. He passed over a year ago and has only been able to go to the cemetary twice because they would not let her. She hasnt been able to truly grieve the loss of her husband/her best friend. Please I really really need help.
I am trying to get some kind of financial help. I am a widow and have never asked anyone for any help before, but after losing my husband and several other family members within a 7 month period, I am having severe health issues, have been out of work for almost a year, have filed for disability, but employer has not sent back form, so am about to lose my home. I am behind in mortgage and am just trying to keep it. I am embarrassed to have to ask strangers for help, but have no one here to help me. Even though my husband served his country for almost half his life, earned over 13 medals, the military added insult to injury by first telling me I would get help and then refused to help. I am desparate.
Some hospitals have grants for the disabled to purchase a vehicle and modify it for hand controls or wheelchair access if needed. call some charity hospitals in your state and if they dont have the grant mabey they know who might. Hope that helps.
Have only made a couple of posts here. Am not on Computer much. My problem was ways to help pay for husbands funeral. I have other issues but this is one of the most important. I know I am blessed with a home, food, car, family who cares. It makes me sad to see people who need so many things I take for granted. If I could get my priorities straight I would try to give others a hand up (Not out). Our system is set up to help those who don't help themselves and not those of us who try to help ourselves. We are in the middle.
I am a single mom with 2 young sons and lost my husband 2 1/2 yrs ago. I receive social security survivor benefits and apparently my benefit is too large to even receive food stamps. I struggle every month to purchase food, pay my bill, and cloth my children. I have outrageous credit card debt and now my cards are maxed out. Why isn't there more help out there for people like me? How can someone who's son's lunch account runs out of money, who has no money to buy groceries by the end of the month, and who's utilities are constantly being shut off not qualify for free/discounted lunches, or food stamps. Why don't people consider credit card debt in many outreach programs. My credit card debt is mostly my normal expenses charged onto the card after my checking account runs dry. Anyway have any ideas???? email joy13rod@yahoo.com
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I am a widow and single mother of two sons. I am fortunte enough to get social security survivor's benefits for myself and my sons however I have not been able to find any other type of aid. I run out of money 2 weeks after receiving my monthly payment which means I struggle for neccessities such as food, water, electric, etc... I do not qualify for food stamps or pretty much any kind of assistance because I apparently get too much money. I have a large amount of credit card debt am I suppose to not pay the money I owe in order to support my family. It just doesn't seem fair and I can't be the only one in this situation. I do not feel it's right to not pay my debts, true I should not have gotten into the financial troubles but I have found out that I have bipolar disorder which explains to a degree why I am in this situation. Why isn't there help for middle class people who want to be able to get a head but can't. My 2 sons eat a lot and I spend a lot on groceries. My property taxes are due and I have no idea how I will pay them. I see other states with outreach programs for widows but most of the help is for widows of veterns. Sorry my husband didn't serve in the military but he was a good provider and I just want to be able to feed, cloth, and property shelter my kids.
Hi! I am a widow, and I am also disabled and raising my 13 year old daughter. I currently live in Washington State. I do not go out much except to the doctor and grocery store when I am able. I am no longer able to walk very well due to back problems. I am in dire need of a vehicle.
I am unable to make payments on a reliable vehicle and my credit is not good due to previous financial problems and with the death of my husband 2 years ago it is difficult to make ends meet.
It seems that some people actually do get money here from Aidpage! I was reading through some of the posts yesterday and someone posted that they had actually got a $400 paypal payment and I'm assuming its because of a posting that they made here on Aidpage.
So its really not true that nobody gets financial help here - it just doesn't seem to happen that often. But support of other kinds are provided here.
Giving advice, replies about charities and the like is better than nothing at all and some people aren't even aware that these kind of places and resources existed so I'm sure that some of them are even grateful for that kind of advice - which you will be able to see if you look at some of the past posts.
I am sorry about the loss of your husband . People here sometimes help out each other by supporting each other and offer information and sometimes if they have it some extra money they will give it to someone else. There is a saying it comes from the Art of living class I had to take , expectations reduce joy.. Sometimes I wonder if that is true or not. But I know when one's expectations are not met it reduces the joy in life.
I know a lot of people in the same boat and I am no better off either. I didn't sleep good last night and have loads of bills to pay. And it is good you got a job.
The churches etc don't pay your rent. I would apply for hud housing now or apply at your local housing authority. I am going to be and my age older than I want to be soon and wish I had done so when my mom was sick so I could get a break with this rent here..
take care and try freecylce.org and craigslist.org free section , wishuponahero.com
I see so many posts of people REALLY needing help, but I dont see anyone getting any help from anyone. I see people replying and saying to go see a church or goodwill or something, things that we all already know, but no one is actually helping on this site I dont think. Church and Goodwill does not pay your rent. It doesnt give my baby his daddy back. It doesnt bring my husband back to life. I know nothing will, but you have NO IDEA how badly I want some of this stress to be gone just so I can properly grieve for the recent loss of my husband because I havent even had a chance to really cry for him because all I am ever doing is worrying and doing anything I can to try to support our baby and keep a roof over his head. We already lost the apartment, and living out of a hotel, but I only have a few more days to get 750$ together to pay for the hotel because you have to pay the full month in advance. Hotels do not have grace periods, if you dont pay, you dont have a room. And if you dont pay the monthly rate here, its extremely expensive.
And if no one on here is willing to help an infant have a place to live and have somne food and clean clothes that fit, until I start getting my paychecks, then I dont know who is getting help on here. Because if it was just me I wouldnt even be on this site. Im grown and I can handle whatever I need to handle. But one thing I cannot handle is my baby not having what he needs. No child should live like this.
There is some good news at least, but its potentially a devastating situation if I dont get this right. I got a really good job. It was supposed to start a couple weeks ago but it got delayed and now it just started. So thats a couple of weeks of pay that I thought I was going to have, and I would have had the money for the hotel if that would have happened. But of course it didnt, because for some reason all of a sudden anything bad that will happen IS happening. I have always had good luck and have always made things work, I dont know why this is all happening. Isnt losing my husband enough? Cant handle much more. And I dont even have an outlet for stress, I dont smoke or drink or do any drugs, never have.. so my only stress relief is taking care of my child, because that is my absolute favourite thing to do. No matter what it is, feeding him, putting him to bed, playing with him, even if he wakes up in the middle of the night crying, I happily wake up to take care of him.. i have not once been stressed out or upset with anything that has to do with taking care of him. I adore every second of it.
But anyways.. at least the job is starting. But I dont have the money to pay someone to watch him. I found someone that is really experienced and she gave me a copy of her background checks and everything, I called references, everything checked out PLUS shes cheap. But cheap isnt cheap enough when you dont have money. So if I cant pay her to watch him, I cant go to work, then I lose the job. I also need gas money to GET TO the job. So basically I need money for a sitter, gas money, I really dont care if I even eat right now so Im not too worried about that, I can eat bread or oatmeal or something, but the baby needs food because WIC will not just approve me for some reason, they keep asking for proof of income and I dont have proof of income and theyve been asking me for this even before I got the job and I keep telling them Im applying BECAUSE I dont have income, which means no proof. People, please stop messing with me. Let SOMETHING go right for once! My car keeps cutting out while Im driving so Im just praying every day that it will keep working and not break. ESPECIALLY if the baby is with me, it is so so so cold here, if we broke down somewhere at night in this cold, I have no idea what I would do. So no matter how broke we are right now, i make sure I have my cell phone paid because that is a safety issue for the baby. So at least I have a phone. Anyways, sitter, gas, food for baby, and the hotel rent coming up in a few days.
I dont care what we have to do to make you comfortable with helping,I am willing to do it. If you want to write up a contract saying I need to pay X amount back plus X amount interest by X amount of time, I would absolutely sign that. I would give copy of my ID and SS card, anything you need to know how to take me to court if I dont pay you back. Because I know that Im going to be able to pay for everything and have money left over as soon as I get just a couple checks, so paying money back is NO PROBLEM. AND I have a 6month contract on this job, so I wont be losing the job before I am able to pay you back in full.
I have no idea what situation someone has to be in to get help, if this isnt a desperate enough situation to reach someones heart out there that wants to be this babys angel. You have NO IDEA the difference you would make in this torn familys life. If someone actually did help, I know Im going to finally cry immediately because so much of this stress would be lifted off of my shoulders, I would know my baby was going to be ok, I would be able to stop worrying for one second and finally cry for my husbands loss of his life, and also cry because someone out there actually still has a heart. I know people on here give to charities.. I dont see why they wouldnt want to actually see the results of their help, to see it actually affect a childs life and actually see a family consider you as their life saving angel. Im not asking for anyone to feel bad for me losing my husband or not having what I need, but please PLEASE please dont overlook my child and just assume someone else will help or that we will figure it out because its not going to happen and this site is my last hope to just make it until I get my first paycheck. Thank you for reading all of this. I dont know what else to say.. except for please.
I thought I remember replying to this, but don't be too concerned, cause God takes care of kids, his own. He'll wait and leave me hanging just the right time as he's done in the past, then the answer will come. He'll either have a car for me, or a place to live, or go over the heads of NMHI (nevada mental health iinstitute) and say shes staying where shes at. You never know with the Lord, but I know one thing. Thats that I can count on God keeping his promises to us. No matter how hard it gets, Jesus comes thru. Even when I'm my worst christian, just a sewer of a woman, shell with no soul almost, my savior comes thru and rescues me becomes my knight and shining armor. So I don't have that much of a need to worry. He'll let me know when its time to worry. Till then, I'll praise him, sing to him and for him and enter the contest I'm going to enter tomorrow night at a casino. Don't know where you live, but I'm in Reno NV, the casino the contest is at is Cal Neva. If you live here, come down and meet up w/ me and hear me and clap for me. The contest I guarantee is going to be based on the loudest bunch the most claps. And I don't mean the disease. HAHA
Star as usual you're so kind and special, but this time is a little different. I could be really facing the street with 7 cats and a 3 pd taco bell dog who yaps alot, but I love him. I have all my stuff in here, I had just moved 2 months ago. I loved it here, I felt safe, I haven't been able to do any laundry yet since I've been here, as it costs $2.25 each load. I hardly have any money each month. Now they're taking that away to, it was only $164.00 but that paid for my computer and internet. I feel that Gods trying to tell me something with all of this. I don't know if its to be an example of me going into the deepest valley of my life, taking Christ along with me to show even in the lowest times in our life, God is there, most important I think he's saying, is showing my faith, keeping my faith, in front of everyone. I won't be shot down, I won't be guilted about the past. If my daughter doesn't want me or need me or for me to be around my new granddaughter who I haven't even seen yet, then so be it. God will work it all out to his glory. I thank you Starshine for being there for me. Wish we could meet.
I am so sorry orion!! Try calling 211 ask if they know of any resources for you. And see about looking into free legal aid and a disbility attorney that deal with social secuirty disability if that is the case
Look in craigslist for roomates wanted and if worse comes to worse look for a shelter. I thought you were staying with a friend???
Are you on disability??? Can you work???
I am a animal lover but I don't know how many you have and people are always looking for kittens ...contact petco or petsmart for their adoption services where people bring their pets to an adoption fair.And see about low cost or no cost spade or neutering programs so those pets don't have any more babies..
Or list on craigslist but beware of kookie replies..If you can't afford all your pets honey try to find them a home as they need shots and care like people..
No it wasn't me I don't think. I've never seen the site so I don't know. I don't know what it even looks like. Star, I wanted to tell you and everyone else, thanks for listening to me and being encouraging. I need it now more than ever. It seems thats all I ever bring to this site is bad or sad news. Well heres some more. I've been on a program for almot 2 yrs thru Nevada Mental Health in Reno, and I guess the govrnment funding of this place has been pulled, as other programs I found out. So they gave me notice of 30 days to leave my apartment. No more money, which was only $164.00, no more $208.00 food check, no more $26.00 bus pass monthly, most important no place to live with all my animals, 1 in which just gave birth 4 days ago to 4 kittens, all my stuff, which is alot to fill a 2 bedroom apartment. I have no car as you know, so where do I go from here? I'm so scared, but I know God has a plan and maybe a place. I don't know but I know I'm not going to let this big of bad, push me into my addiction. Satan doesn't win, God does. So if you've any ideas, the waiting lists on all the apartments that deal with hud or some disabiltiy or elderly is 6 months to 1 1/2 long. Please let me know Starshine if theres someplace else that you know of that goes on income, so If I have none, then it would be free. Please email me, God Bless
Thanks honey once more for being there for me. You are so precious and I've never met you or even know you. But I love your heart and how you care about people and about helping them encouraging, which is what Christ was all about.
In response to Kika, thank you for your answer. That was just wonderful to read. I needed that and friends right now for support. Being alone alot boy thats a season thats real rough. I've been riding this wave a long time, and this surfer girl wants off. But in Gods timing not mine.
Thank you so much for your kind words. You are just going through the grieving process. Don't be hard on yourself. I know what its like not to have a car or a working car. It made me feel like I had lost my best friend.
I will definitely be praying for you to get a car.
I am checking out telephone and internet pkge and could have saved 23 bucks but Verizon didn't tell me so changing to pkg deal again have to wait on the phone....
Take it easy on yourself and read positive things plus hang around positive people.. Sorry for your loss and take care.
I am a single mother in Georgia, I have 3 kids and 1 on the way next month. Im so afraid to bring this baby in this world homeless. My kids are currently not in scholl bc of this! Sometimes I feel lik... see full post
I need serious advice.
I am a student with one semester to go. My graduation date is Dec of 2012. I've been trying for my degree for several years and have exhausted all of the available student l... see full post
Here since: Feb 16, 2012
Female, 24
Manhattan, NY, US
Languages: english,creyol and french
hello everyone, I am Auset and im a single mother, I have a four month old beautiful bouncing baby boy! which i am so greatful for and i thank god for blessing me with such joy..being a mommy is a new... see full post
I am in CA so don't think I will make it for the contest but good luck Orion.
Star as usual you're so kind and special, but this time is a little different. I could be really facing the street with 7 cats and a 3 pd taco bell dog who yaps alot, but I love him. I have all my stuff in here, I had just moved 2 months ago. I loved it here, I felt safe, I haven't been able to do any laundry yet since I've been here, as it costs $2.25 each load. I hardly have any money each month. Now they're taking that away to, it was only $164.00 but that paid for my computer and internet. I feel that Gods trying to tell me something with all of this. I don't know if its to be an example of me going into the deepest valley of my life, taking Christ along with me to show even in the lowest times in our life, God is there, most important I think he's saying, is showing my faith, keeping my faith, in front of everyone. I won't be shot down, I won't be guilted about the past. If my daughter doesn't want me or need me or for me to be around my new granddaughter who I haven't even seen yet, then so be it. God will work it all out to his glory. I thank you Starshine for being there for me. Wish we could meet.
